Scandal sheet
In “Some Do … Some Don’t,” a seventh-season “Dallas” episode, Katherine (Morgan Brittany) lies in bed, wrapped in a sheet, while J.R. (Larry Hagman) sits nearby, buttoning his shirt.
KATHERINE: I never thought this would happen. Ever since we met, it’s been like a game. And now, finally one of us won.
J.R.: Well, it wasn’t exactly the Olympics. Of course, they got four years of practice. [Chuckles]
KATHERINE: Don’t rush off. You know, you told me some time ago that you’d help break up Bobby and Jenna. Nothing’s happened.
J.R.: Now don’t tell me you made this ultimate sacrifice just to get my help.
KATHERINE: Well, this is what you wanted. Now what about what I want?
J.R.: Well, I have a little problem there.
KATHERINE: I thought that there were never any problems for you, J.R.
J.R.: Katherine, as much as I like you — and I like you a lot now — I think Bobby and Jenna are a match made in heaven.
KATHERINE: [Outraged] You what? Look, you promised me —
J.R.: I promised that if we went to bed I’d help you. I just wanted to find out how far you were willing to go to get Bobby, that’s all.
KATHERINE: Don’t even dream of double-crossing me.
J.R.: Well, Katherine, don’t threaten me, honey. You’re way of our your league. [Rises, walks to the dresser, begins tying his necktie] Besides, Bobby and Jenna belong together. After all, he is the father of her little girl.
KATHERINE: Now you don’t know that. Not for sure.
J.R.: [Turns toward her] Oh, yes I do. I’ve known for a long time. You see, I have a friend over in Rome who got me a copy of the birth certificate — years ago, I guess. I suppose that was the purpose of you going over there, wasn’t it? Oh, I wish I could have seen your face when you found out Bobby was the father.
KATHERINE: I don’t care if he is the father. I want him and I’ll get him.
J.R.: Hm. Maybe yes, maybe no. But you’ve just done something that’s going to keep you from getting Bobby for good. Did you ever meet a lady named Holly Harwood?
KATHERINE: Just once. She made a disgusting play for Bobby in my presence.
J.R.: I think Bobby might have liked her. But she made the same mistake that you did, honey. She slept with me. [Crosses the room, retrieves his jacket from the back of a chair] If she ever did have a chance with him, that knocked her right out of the box.
KATHERINE: Oh, I’m sure there were other reasons.
J.R.: [Walks back to the dresser, puts on his watch] Well, I wouldn’t put it to the test if I were you. No, you just do what I want, when I want and nobody will ever know about tonight.
KATHERINE: Not so fast, J.R. It is your word against mine. And why would Bobby possibly believe you?
J.R.: [Turns toward her] Oh, he might not believe me, but he will believe his own ears. [Holds up a tape recorder] He may have never heard you under these conditions, but you have a very distinctive voice, no matter what you’re saying. [Katherine looks stunned.] Would you like me to play this back for you?
KATHERINE: [Defeated] No.
J.R.: [Picks up his hat, exits] I’ll call you.
